Life as it is can be a maze. With so much access to information, even more so. One skill that has stuck with me is meditation, and I can’t be grateful enough. I will not bore you with another blog eulogizing meditation. If you want to read on that, you can read the rest of my blog, and there is a lot of good resources available online, and you can always follow a teaching. Meditation helped me in the worst and best of times in the last 3 years.
Meditation is a tool. It almost becomes a go to approach for every situation — loving attention on the moment. But in the process of discovering the true nature of everything, there are several moments of feeling lost. It is like being in a half and half stage, and the transition can be difficult. Trust and loving attention at times are the only sane resources.
One of the biggest challenges is finding a deep purpose. At the end, purpose may be just living, moment to moment. Maintaining loving relationships with people, animals, nature, becomes more and more significant. And, it becomes increasingly apparent that there is something unique that you in your form, are bringing to the table. But a huge challenge is coming to peace with what you are bringing to the table. It is not easy. It might be the most difficult part of the whole process. For the most part, it is easy to forget what you are bringing to the table.
In fact, when I finally realized it, it felt like an accident. I didn’t know how I got to it other than by pure trust, and loving attention in the process. Before that, my mind was lost thinking about changing jobs, changing locations, and on and on. All of that might actually be fine. But it was a crazy stalemate. Some discipline, in my case setting aside time for meditation and yoga, as well as the mantra of trust and loving attention helped.
Then it occurred to me. I felt better after my evening yoga and meditation. Almost appreciative of what I did. I also thought about how organized I had been in this in some ways (while unable to be organized in some other ways). How trust and love had proved real. And then the writing. Writing on a piece of paper. Writing on the blog. Writing code at work. There seemed to be an art to how things happened. It suddenly helped me feel like I had found something.
The appreciation of writing. That feeling that I don’t know a word for. But it felt home. Life is about having fun. But how? Enjoy something. Writing. Cooking. Planning. This is not about the result. It is about the process. You might already have something you enjoy, but due to unprocessed layers of ego, it is obscured, like the sun on a terribly cloudy day.